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Lettre de ma cousine d'Astoria (n°2)

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Soumis par Th. Efthymiou le
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Il y avait, de George Mikes "How to be an aliien" et "How to scrape skies", voici une deuxième série de "critères d'homogénie", venu du Nouveau Monde:

My fellow Greeks....Enjoy a laugh!

YOU KNOW YOUR "GREEK" WHEN ...

-30 years after immigrating, your parents still say "[i]Embros[/i]" when answering the phone

-You have had "[i]loukoumades[/i]"

-You can distinguish between "[i]kefalotiri[/i]" and "[i]kefalograviera[/i]"

-You can spell "[i]kefalograviera[/i]"

-You are an adult and are forced to be with your family at 12 midnight on New Year's Eve [Haï-Vassilis]

-Upon meeting another Greek, one of your first questions is, "[i]What church do you go to?[/i]"

-Your grandmother/mother/aunt has a miracle cure for everything

-If you're a girl, your mother still tries to put those pony tail holders with the BIG plastic balls on the end on your hair.

-If you're a guy, your mother still tries to make you wear that super frilly dress shirt with that huge bow tie, because it looked so cute when you were 7

-You can name any or all of the gods on Olympos

-Your mother or father still feels the need to tell you, "[i]kathise kala[/i]" in public

-You have been hit with a "[i]pandofla[/i]"

-You can dance [i]kalamatiano, tsamiko, zeïbekiko [/i]without music

-You go to church picnics pretending you're there for reasons other than to check up/gossip about other Greeks

-You or a family member has been photographed with a donkey

-You must name your children after your in-laws "[i]pentherika[/i]"

-You have at least 5 Maria's, 9 Dimitri's, 5 Niko's, 6 George's and 4 Yanni's in the family as a result of the above

-You have heard the phrase, "[i]Sto leo yia to kalo sou[/i]"

-You have one or more of those porcelain figurines in your house

-You have broken one of those porcelain figurines and your mother still hasn't forgiven you

-Your parents have made up the name of a street/store/tv show because they couldn't remember it or they couldn't pronounce it

-You still get scared when you hear the name "[i]Baboolas[/i]" and "[i]Arapis[/i]"

-Upon meeting another Greek you try to find out what village they're from

-You or a family member wears their Sunday best to go to the laundromat or grocery shopping

-You have ever been threatened by a Greek School teacher

-You still get threatened by a Greek School teacher even though you're 30 years old

-You have been spanked by your friend's parents because your parents gave them permission to

-You have been spanked by the whole neighborhood because your parents gave them permission to

-You have a bottle of "[i]OUZO[/i]" in your house right now

-You know what a "[i]komboloi[/i]" is

-You know how to work a "[i]komboloi[/i]"

-When you were younger and going on car trips, you always had to sit on someone's lap in the front or back seat

-You have been threatened to be eaten by the "[i]Mavros[/i]"/"[i]baboolas[/i]"/"[i]yeros[/i]"/"[i]pontiki[/i]"/"[i]Arapis[/i]" when you were little

-Someone in your family owns or did own any type of restaurant

-Your family inheritance included olive trees

-You are suprised to find that the local pet store does not sell goats

-You can't understand why McDonald's rejected your idea for the "McFeta" sandwich

-You make up your own Greco-American language :For e.g. [i]Carro[/i] (car), [i]Moovare[/i] (move), [i]Wassemassini[/i] (washing machine), [i]bassi[/i] (bus), [i]eleveta[/i] (elevator)

-You can always go to "[i]Yiayia[/i]" or "[i]Papou[/i]" to curse out your parents and all they do is soothe you and feed you "[i]karpouzi[/i]"

-You have been given the evil eye by your mother in public and/or the biting of the forefinger knuckle, and wearing some blue dress or ribbon,
or "[i]handra[/i]" protects

-You were sput lightly on, beeing a beautiful baby, and heard calling "[i]skoroda!"[/i]

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